How To Get An Ex Back
Relationships normally start in a precession of romance, good intentions and loving promises yet the reality is most of them end in a fit of rage and disillusionment. For these and other reasons, break ups are usually painful, especially when malicious things are said.
The unfortunate thing is that people often break up for trivial reasons, and one partner moves on easily while the other seems unable to deal with this split. If you find yourself in such a situation, you need to ask yourself: “Is it beneficial being with my ex or should I get over them?” If you believe you are meant to get back together with them, here are some questions you can ask yourself to find out why the relationship ended and how to get an ex back:
- Was there a problem with intimacy and communication?
- Were you unfaithful or dishonest?
- Did you take them for granted?
- Did your relationship lose that magic spark?
- Would couples therapy help?
If you answered yes to any of these questions here are some ways to get an ex back:
- Intimacy and communication
Intimacy and effective communication are two of the most important characteristics of a healthy relationship. A break down in either could lead to fights, misunderstanding, a feeling of estrangement, isolation and the relationship ending. If there was a problem with communication, you need to show your ex you have changed.
Make contact with them and show them you can listen properly and communicate your feelings effectively. Communication is a two way street – remember you have two ears and one mouth so listen more than you speak, and when you do speak, do not raise your voice or get angry. Display a sense of calm and maturity when you communicate your feelings.
- Dishonesty and unfaithfulness
If you were unfaithful or dishonest to your ex, you should prepare yourself to accept the fact that you might not be able to get them back as trust is the very foundation on which relationships are built. However, a sincere and honest apology goes a long way. Saying sorry is one thing, showing you are remorseful and have changed is another.
Do not try to defend your dishonesty or unfaithfulness and let your ex know your failures. If you were unfaithful, cut your ties with the person you cheated with and let your ex know that you have done this. Also, give them time and space to forgive you. Remember, if you truly love someone you will let them go, if they love you, they will return.
- Let your ex know they are valued
Everyone needs to know that they are valued, wanted and needed. If you feel you took your ex for granted, let them know this. Tell them how much they mean to you and how you value them as a person.
- Rekindling the magic
Often couples break up because they feel that the initial magic or spark that characterized the relationship is lost. There are, however, ways to rekindle this spark. Be spontaneous. Surprise them, remind them of the person they fell in love with – be romantic. Even though romance is sometimes cheesy, it works more often than not. Be willing to be vulnerable and embarrass yourself. Also, get healthy and looking good – this might rekindle the spark. If you want to get an ex back, you must do this step.
- Couples therapy
Sometimes the mere suggestions of couples’ therapy are enough to rekindle a relationship as it demonstrates willingness on your behalf. Furthermore, you might find that in the presence of a professional mediator you are able to fix problems and discuss matters, which were previously impossible to do. If this is the case, suggest couples therapy.