Why saying “No” is as important as saying “Yes”

Feeling stressed in your personal and professional life? You should strategize your Yes.

 

You are a successful personality, you are an achiever, you love to take challenges weather it is in your personal life or in your professional life, you don’t want to miss any opportunity and you want to make everyone happy. Hold on, here I would like to give you an advice.

 
 
 
 
 
 

 

Say “No”, it is equally as important as saying “Yes”

Let me give you a very simple example about life, when it rains it pours, and when rains heavily, the flood in. It seems really exciting but when the water levels go up and it start reaching upto your neck it becomes really easy to drown. Similarly, sometimes opportunity comes like a flood water, and it’s only you who can save you from drowning.

 

To make it more simple, let me tell you the story of one of my very close friend.

Just a couple of days back she got very good opportunity in her company and got promoted to a very senior profile with a very handsome package. She becomes the zonal head of that company and now there are so many people reporting to her.

 

And, oh – I forgot to mention that she is a mother of 5 year old kid, while helping her husband in his business.

 

So she was in upto her ankles in flood waters, and then the series of back to back meetings started in her office. Frequently she had to visit other branch offices and even head office. She said yes to every challenge and never let anyone down. She always thought that she should perform each of that task which would make her company’s and her own reputation up.

 

Apart from this, she had to make her child happy, she had to help him in his homework, get him to eat his food, and drive him to nearby ground to play with his friends and also making sure that he wore his dress perfectly. Now, at this situation the flood waters were rising upto her neck and surely she was going to drown. And she drowned.

 

I remember, she used to give tips to people that how to eat well, how to stay fit, and I remember this too how she started skipping her routine meals, and started taking starchy fast foods. She used to suggest people how to live a value-centered life and simultaneously she was saying yes to every challenges, accepting each responsibilities allocating to her, even if she had to compromise with herself or with her family.

 

She used to tell people about healthy living, how to live a happy life, and started sitting at her work desk for 14 hours in a day, getting a “flat butt”.

 

Everything was messed up, her life was going out of control and luckily one day she realized this. She realized that she has to be more strategic about her time, and she controlled each and everything.

One day I asked her about how she manage all these, she told me about what she started doing when new opportunities or challenges come up. She stopped saying yes automatically to each, and instead of this she use to ask herself these questions:

 

1. If I say Yes, for what I am really going to agree? How much work it will require? Is it really worth that much work for me.
2. If I say yes, what impact it will put on my family, my own life and my loved ones.
3. And the most important, If I say yes, will I be compromising with my core values – for an instance like happy life, healthy eating or stay fit.

 

She added that now she is not only stressed free and happy but also healthy and fit. These all happen just because now she don’t accept all each offer which comes to her, instead of this she use to measure her yeses.

 

Over commitment increases the level of stress which can make you sick, it makes your immune function poor, and sucks the nutrients from your body. It can cause your skin dry and dull, it will make your hair thinner and weak.

 

Strategize when to say “Yes” and when to say “No”

 

1. Follow “Doorman” policy: Make a doorman policy for yourself and be careful while deciding which people you have to let into your life. Ask yourself do you really want this person as a friend, or just friendly? Give your time to the people who matters most to your instead of wasting your time and energy on everyone.
2. Live a value-centered life: If you get any offer, say yes only if your moral allows in that direction. If any offer will make you money but because of it you have to compromise with your health, your family and your loved ones, say No.
3. Walk the walk: Its very easy to talk the talk, giving suggestion to everyone how to live stress free life, how to live happy life and how to stay fit and healthy while making your own life stressed and unhealthy. Incorporating these rules in your own life is important too, take healthy diet, go to bed on time, exercise, do yoga and live healthy life. If saying Yes to any offer is going to hamper any of these life boosting action, then you must say “No”.

 

There is big possibility that saying “No” might shut few doors in your life, you might have few dollors less in your bank, but you will have in your life – health, energy, happiness and joy. If you want these things more in your life then start saying “Yes” strategically, and I bet to say you will be more happy, thin and successful in your life, rather than fat and bald.